23 September, 2025

Neurodiversity: A Paradigm Shift Towards Inclusion and Belonging

In our ongoing journey to create a supportive environment for every child, we’re pleased to share insights on neurodiversity and its significance within our learning community. This article serves as a valuable resource for all families, offering practical strategies and insights to promote inclusion throughout the entire school community.

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It is common to hear that the best outcome for any child is to “fit in”. Current research and the lived experience of neurodivergent (ND) people show a different reality: Children thrive when they can be their authentic selves and receive responsive support.¹ Inclusion is not about making everyone the same. It is about ensuring every child can thrive without hiding who they are.”

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Neurodiversity: Natural variation in how human brains think, feel, and process the world - “Neurological differences are to be recognised and respected as any other human variation.” (National Symposium on Neurodiversity ²)

Neurodivergent (ND):A term that describes someone whose brain differs from the majority (autism, ADHD, dyslexia, Tourette’s, etc.).

Neurotypical (NT):A term that describes someone whose brain aligns with the majority / dominant expectations.

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Historically, the medical model framed disability as a deficit within the child to diagnose and cure³. Research evidence and ND voices show that, often, struggles arise from external barriers, e.g. when environments are noisy, inflexible, or shaming, children struggle; when barriers are reduced (e.g., visuals, movement breaks, sensory supports), participation improves. Thus, the environment is usually the barrier, not the child³.

The social model reframes this view: difference is natural, disability emergesand/or increases when environments and attitudes lack appropriate accommodations. Aiming to embrace this model does not deny challenges. It simply puts responsibility where it belongs, i.e., an individuals' beliefs, systems, and communities, so children do not carry the burden of “fixing” who they are³. The key question becomes "What accommodations will help this child thrive as themselves?"³.

Medical Model	Social / Neuro‑Affirmative Model
1. Fix the child → Normalise	Remove barriers → Value differences
2. Compliance = Success	Authentic engagement = Success
3. Behavioural approaches	Co‑regulation & agency, and understanding of underlying needs and authentic profiles
4. One curriculum fits all	Flexible pathways & multiple ways to learn
5. 'Tragedy' narrative / pity / condescendence	Rights, dignity & belonging

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Ableism: Seeing the System, Not the Child

Ableism is any belief or practice that devalues people whose bodies and/or brains differ from neurotypical societal norms, and can come through expectations, language, and policies, impacting significantly on equitable access. Ableist beliefs narrow opportunity, lower expectations, and pressure students to mask, suppressing intrinsic and adaptivebehaviours to appear NT. Masking is linked to poorer mental‑health outcomes, such as higher anxiety, depression, and burnout⁴.

Challenging Ableism - Steps You Can Implement

Action	Everyday Habits & Practical Examples
Mind Your Language Why It Matters: Language shapes expectations Deficit-based terminology lower aspirations and self‑esteem¹. Positive Impact: The child feels respected and develops stronger self‑belief.	Call‑In Moments: Question ableist comments in conversations, chats, and social media. Swap "special child / atypical" for “accessing support” / “neurodivergent / diverse learning profile" Swap “normal” for “neurotypical” Swap “high‑/low‑functioning” with “requires more/less support.”
Question Comparisons Why It Matters: Comparisons increase anxiety Growth‑focus boosts resilience¹³. Positive Impact: Greater willingness to tackle challenges and less self‑criticism	Ask “What progress has my child made this month?” Highlight personal gains Focus on growth moments.
Model Acceptance Why It Matters: Acceptance predicts higher resilience & lower poorer mental health outcomes¹⁴. Positive Impact: Children mirror self‑acceptance and increased confidence and curiosity. Accommodations become neurotype appropriate, with fewer behaviour escalations and stronger sense of belonging	Praise authentic strengths, e.g. “You notice patterns in LEGO that I miss, you have a great eye for detail!” Provide and introduce accommodations without apology, e.g., Noise‑reducing headphones: “These help you enjoy this space safely” Share ND‑positive stories and ND led resources, e.g., Share ND‑authored blogs, books and videos with relatives, friends, and the wider community; let children see themselves represented positively⁵. ND‑led perspectives reduce ableist practices & improve authenticity of accommodations¹². Model your own differences, e.g. “I need lists to stay organised, as my brain likes written reminders.” Speak proudly, e.g. “Your autistic brain makes amazing connections; I love how you solve problems"
Guard Against Masking Why It Matters: Sustained masking links to higher anxiety, depression, and burnout⁴. Positive Impact: Fewer evening meltdowns and healthier self‑esteem and energy.	Normalise stims, e.g., "Flapping helps your body feel good, keep going if it helps” Practise exit scripts, e.g. “If the room is loud, I can say: ‘I feel overwhelmed; I need my headphones” Schedule decompression time, especially after school Celebrate self‑advocacy, e.g. “You advocated for what you needed, let's do it!” Model boundaries for physical and emotional safety, e.g. “I’m feeling overstimulated; I’m going to my calm corner for ten minutes.”

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Behaviour, Masking, and Mental Health: Key Notes

Behaviouris communication:It can mean “I’m okay,” “I’m curious,” “I’m overwhelmed,” or “I hurt,” particularly when a child can’t find the words.

Behaviour Label: What We Say	What Might Really Be Happening?	Impact
“Compliant / high functioning”	The child is suppressing sensory overload or anxiety to appear typical, i.e. masking, which is hiding or suppressing natural ND traits, e.g., stimming, making small conversation, making eye contact.	Sustained masking → higher anxiety, burnout, depression, suicidal ideation⁴.
“Disruptive / challenging”	When a child’s senses or emotions are overloaded, the nervous system can trigger a bottom-up stress response, i.e. automatic, body-driven reactions like fight/flight/freeze. Research suggests about 70–80% of behaviours adults find challenging are these bottom-up responses, and only 20–30% are top-down (deliberate, planned) behaviours, even though adults often assume children are fully in control⁶.	Punishing the response intensifies distress & erodes trust⁶.
“Lazy”	Executive‑function fatigue, i.e. working harder to plan and organise, can look like "lack of will" and/or “laziness”.⁷	Ignoring fatigue can lead to burnout & lower self‑esteem⁷.

Strength‑Based, Attuned Support: How can we support?

Focus Areas	Practical Examples
Safety & Connection Why It Matters: Regulation first ↔ learning second⁸. Positive Impact: Calmer transitions, fewer meltdowns, faster problem‑solving.	Greet by name & preferred pronouns  “I see you are upset, let us breathe together”  Offer co‑regulation choices: squeeze ball, rhythmic tapping, quiet corner
Address Root Needs Why It Matters: Meeting sensory & predictability needs cuts anxiety & task avoidance⁹. Positive Impact: Increased engagement, longer on‑task time	Noise‑cancelling headphones, chewable jewellery  Visual schedules, first/then cards  Advance warning of changes
Teach Self‑Advocacy Why It Matters: Self‑advocacy skills predict higher life satisfaction & academic persistence¹⁰. Positive Impact: Child asks for help earlier, reduced masking, stronger self‑esteem	Rehearse scripts: “I need a drink of water,” “Lights are too bright.” Provide a signal card for breaks Celebrate when your child voices a need
Leverage Strengths Why It Matters: Strength‑based learning boosts intrinsic motivation¹¹. Positive Impact: Deeper focus, better quality work, pride in achievements.	Build projects around intense interests (e.g., trains, mythology)  Provide options to capture learning (writing, drawing, video, diagram, model)

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Parent Q&A

Question parents often ask…	Neuro‑affirmative response
“If my child does not learn to act ‘normal’, how will they ever fit into society?”	Masking raises anxiety, depression, and burnout; authentic participation plus accommodations, as and when needed, build belonging⁴.
“Isn’t it my job to push my child to overcome their diagnosis?”	Neurotypes cannot be changed. Champion strengths and remove barriers; framing neurodivergence as a deficit undermines wellbeing¹⁶.
“Won’t accommodations make my child dependent?”	Accommodations create access and boost engagement and confidence¹⁷.
“What if my child falls behind academically because we focus on wellbeing and inclusion?”	Progress is only possible when sensory and emotional needs are met first, as a regulated and accepted child has more cognitive bandwidth to participate and engage across learning and friendships. Academic gains may follow when these foundations are in place, and they will look different for each learner¹⁵.

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