“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – Anais Nin
The best way to form a relationship is based on respect, empathy and communication. It is important to talk and be honest with people so that they can develop trust and respect for you. You never judge a book by its cover, and therefore we should do the same in relationships - do not assume you know someone based on what you see or hear from others. Spend time with someone to get to know them, ask them questions and listen to their answers. It is important to look at who someone is and how they treat others, rather than how popular or beautiful they look. I like to listen and talk to others, so I find I can form positive relationships.
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” – Donald Miller
Personally, I know when I have formed a good relationship because the person will ask me how I am feeling or how my day has been. They want to listen to my stories and what I have to say. A good relationship is based on trust, so if they trust me and I can trust them then you can solve problems that arise between you. A good friend wants to be happy with you and spend lots of time with you. I have learnt that as I have gotten older, friends can be made anywhere at any time! A good friend will always help you with a problem and stand by your side. These experiences and understanding is something I discuss with my own students and help them to understand what positive good relationships are. Children will always have many friends that change regularly, but hopefully they can understand a good relationship means you are comfortable with the person.
Often, I am asked by parents how do I help children resolve problems in their friendships or relationships, as this can be important for some children. One argument can seem like the end of the world and that the problem cannot be solved. My approach is restorative justice. This means I like to hear all sides of a story to fit the pieces together, like a jigsaw, and then I can help resolve the conflict. Both sides of a relationship need to share how they are feeling (emotions) and why. They need to be given time to talk, share and resolve. But it is hard as many people feel like the other person might not be genuine. It can help to ask someone else to mediate (help you talk to each other, like a teacher or friend), as then both sides feel they have an equal chance to share. With my students, after they have shared their view and understood how they made each other feel, they decide the next steps or consequences. Although, I believe most problems can be resolved by talking and working together, sometimes relationships end badly, but we learn from this, and we can learn to forgive and move on too. This is also how you can create strong relationships, as we learn from mistakes, we learn to forgive, and we learn to move on!
YEAR 3 DRAGONFLIES CLASS TEACHER
YEAR 3 LEARNING LEADER