ELITE ATHLETE | PERFORMANCE COACH | P.E. TEACHER
My goal of helping every child be the best they can be is a team effort. I am passionate about working with students and sharing real-world experiences. As part of a global network of over 10,000 Nord Anglia teachers, I help provide a virtual learning experience across 90 schools worldwide. This extensive resource pool allows us to draw inspiration and share valuable insights with children here at BISS Puxi.
But there is one teacher, one coach, who is paramount. They are the coach above all others. They are the parents! The child’s first teacher is their parent. It’s an extraordinary privilege and responsibility to guide children to be the best they can be.
In this week’s A-Z of peak performance, I’ll share some key attributes of being a peak-performing parent coach, and highlight stories from my own experience working with coaches such as Harry Redknapp and Glenn Hoddle at Queens Park Rangers Football Club, Paddy Anson at Gloucester Rugby Club, and my athletics coaches, including Wayne Morant, Tony Lester, Lance Brauman, Stuart McMillan, and Dan Pfaff.
Marlon’s 10 Attributes of a Parent Coach
1. Patience
Coaching requires exceptional levels of patience – patience as a parent and patience in your child's learning process. Patience is a skill that can be developed over time. Some of life's lessons may not resonate with students until they are adults. The key is ensuring they do resonate. So, take care of yourself. Be sure you are in a calm and patient state of mind before teaching, coaching, or mentoring others.
2. Failure
Allow your child to make mistakes in a controlled and safe environment. This psychological safety enables them to learn from their own experiences rather than relying on instructions.
3. Feedback
Feedback is the cornerstone of learning from failure. It needs to be situation-specific and balanced – highlighting both areas for improvement and progress made. Always ensure feedback is constructive and recognizes achievements as well as areas for growth.
4. Simplicity
An expert is someone who understands the complexities of a subject, but a great coach can articulate that complexity in a simple way, allowing others to understand and progress step by step. Be the educator who promotes uncapped dreams!
5. Positivity
As a coach, part of your role is to encourage and inspire others to be the best version of themselves. Be that relentlessly positive presence.
6. Personalization
Look, listen, and read widely. See what works for others and adapt those strategies to suit your child’s personal learning style. No one knows your child like you do, so make learning relevant and tailored to them. How can you bring out the best in your child?
7. Big Goals
If you’re struggling to motivate your child, connect their efforts to a bigger picture and focus on what they want to achieve. What is important to them?
8. Be Coached
Even the best coaches have their own coaches. Take up something new, re-experience the learning process, or hire a coach for yourself. This keeps you grounded, offers fresh perspectives, and sharpens your skills as a coach as you grow older. Don’t let yourself get stuck in old habits.
9. Lifelong Learner
Don’t strive for perfection. Embrace the process of lifelong learning with your child. Explore new things, fail, and learn together. Celebrate the successes and the lessons and remember that the learning journey is what you make of it.
10. Enjoy It!
Smiling and having fun transforms all of the above into an exciting challenge rather than a chore. It’s essential to create fond memories of childhood, both individually and as a family. Through the good times and the bad, remember to enjoy the journey and share plenty of laughter.
There is so much we can learn from sports and executive coaching that can help us become great parent coaches. If you haven’t already, join our BISS Puxi WeChat to receive regular tips from our executive coach, Jessie Lee, and her insightful Parent Coach blog.
The Role of Parents in Peak Performance: Scientific Insights
Research consistently highlights the crucial role parents play in children's development. Studies show that parental involvement not only improves academic outcomes but also enhances social, emotional, and physical well-being (Jeynes, 2012). In sports, for example, parents' emotional support has been shown to increase children's intrinsic motivation and persistence (Fredricks & Eccles, 2002). Thus, being an engaged, supportive "coach" in your child’s life can have profound and long-lasting benefits for their performance and overall well-being.
Elite Coaches
I’ve had the privilege of working with several elite coaches in athletics, Premier League football and rugby in the UK. They were all exceptional in their own way, each bringing a unique set of strengths to the table.
The Technician Some coaches are deeply knowledgeable about the technical aspects of their sport. I was fortunate to have Wayne Morant as my first coach. His attention to detail in refining my running technique was impeccable. Although it was challenging initially, it ultimately helped me become a better and injury-free runner.
The Motivator A key element of being a parent coach is the ability to motivate your child. I worked with Tony Lester for 12 years, achieving most of my successes under his guidance. Tony instilled in me a strong work ethic, much like a former HM Force Warrant Officer. His leadership created a focused, goal-oriented environment, but he also knew how to keep things light-hearted during downtime.
The Growth Environment In the latter part of my athletics career, I had the chance to train with Lance Brauman in Florida. Lance was not just a great coach; his training squad was filled with some of the most decorated medalists I’ve ever had the privilege of working with. This high-performance environment cultivated a growth mindset and inspired me to reach for greatness.
The old and new Package, Stuart McMillan and Dan Pfaff, were two coaches I greatly respected. They were not only technically proficient but also excellent communicators. What set them apart was their ability to approach challenges from different perspectives. We would try new techniques—some successful, others not—but we always learned something valuable from every experience.
The Mindful Coach After my athletics career, I worked with Harry Redknapp at QPR Football Club. As a senior coach, Harry wasn’t the most physically active manager, but he knew how to get the best out of each individual. His assistant, Glenn Hoddle, focused on the psychological side of player performance, emphasising that peak performance is largely influenced by the mind.
The Humble Coach Elite sport often involves large egos, but some coaches, like Paddy Anson at Gloucester Rugby, approach coaching with humility, openness, and honesty about their own strengths and weaknesses. Paddy is an elite coach and leader, yet his humility and self-awareness were key to his success.
All these coaches share a common trait: they are lifelong learners. This is something I strive to embody as I continue to grow in my roles as a coach in professional sport, business, and at BISS Puxi.
The Devonish Coach
I thrive on adding as many strings to my bow as possible, constantly seeking opportunities to gain experience from a variety of perspectives. I make it a point to watch, observe, and learn from others. Patience is key to creating an environment where both young and experienced individuals feel safe and supported. I aim to foster a space where people can approach me, knowing they can be vulnerable and honest about how they feel—without fear of judgment. Where you are is where you are, so let’s get better together. We grow, and we both become better as a result.
My coaching style incorporates elements from all the coaches I’ve worked with, while also recognizing that what works for one person may not work for another. As parent coaches, we are not perfect. Part of our journey is discovering our unique approach to helping our children excel.
If there’s one takeaway from this, it’s this: embrace the mindset of continuous growth. Don’t fear failure. Welcome the journey of exploration, trial, and learning alongside your child. This approach, I believe, will make the experience of being a parent coach profoundly enriching on many levels.
Until next time, take care, stay safe, and enjoy the journey of being a parent coach.
