Throughout the last six months, we have all had to experience change that none of us could ever have imagined. This huge shift has meant that the defining boundaries between the different areas in our lives and our relationships have been scrambled and we have been presented with many challenges. For most of us, our natural instinct, when faced with change of this level, is to avoid it. Just as we automatically recoil when we unexpectedly happen upon a dangerous animal or we instinctively pull our hand away from a hot stove, we naturally try to put upsetting thoughts and feelings out of mind. However, we cannot escape the reality of what is happening and we cannot resist the change that has occurred in all of our lives, instead we need to actively accept that there are many things that are out of our control and surrender to this change. As the pandemic that many thought would pass within weeks stretches on into the foreseeable future and becomes our new reality, we are faced with how to cope with the mental health effects. When life is not exactly as we want it to be, it can be helpful to turn our minds towards acceptance.
Acceptance is to simply acknowledge the facts of the world as they are and to acknowledge the demands of the present moment. It is the act of confronting the (un)comfortable truths of our reality. Acceptance is not approval and it is not giving in or giving up. Acceptance is also not agreement. It is a choice that we make repeatedly and actively to open ourselves to the reality of the present moment. Acceptance is no easy feat and one that we constantly need to reflect upon and review.
Acceptance also comes in different forms and experiences for everyone. We try to actively choose acceptance based on our previous life experiences. I have recently become a first time mother and I am sure many of you can relate that the first few weeks are a huge learning curve where you soon realise that although this little person is so small and new, they have all the control. No matter how much we try to influence them, a new born baby decides when they will sleep and eat amongst many other things - as parents we fit into their routine. Becoming a mother during this pandemic has helped me to surrender to the changes that have been forced upon us as a result of Covid-19. During times of anxiety or even anger, I try to ask myself whether I have any control over what has happened. When we are under chronically difficult conditions, it’s very helpful to divide the problem into two categories: things I can do something about, and then things I can do nothing about. At the moment, a lot falls under the latter. I know it’s hard to practice acceptance when you deeply wish things were different. But the truth is, sometimes we can’t change our reality, even if we try and often the best solution is learning to identify when it is time to persist with a problem or when it’s time to accept.
